I Cast Fireball

You cast fireball. That's the game.

You are a wizard with one spell, one beard, and no plan. The fireball is lobbed, it rolls a 1d6, and whatever it lands on is what you hit for. Roll a 6 and it does 6 damage. There is no crit. There is no scaling. That is the entire rule.

The catch, and it is the whole game: the blast hurts you too. Throw it at your feet and you cook in your own robe. Every kill has to be earned at a distance, and every "one more shot" is a decision about how much of your own eyebrows you're willing to spend.

Goblins, endlessly

Grunts walk at you. Runners sprint. Brutes eat ten hits and barely move. Shamans throw. Bombers carry a barrel and want to introduce you to it. Barrel Rollers carry one of the stage barrels, lob it at you, survive, then jog back for another one. Cooks drop food. Aloe goblins are covered in aloe and set the whole meadow on fire when they pop. Somebody's fat, somebody's a redcap, somebody brought a king.

They all have something rude to say about it, and an announcer with a stadium voice commentates every murder, including yours.

Dice. So many dice.

126 dice to find, buy, steal off corpses and regret. Foil dice, epic dice, a die made of a tiny skull, a die with googly eyes that summons a beholder on a 1, a die that calls in an airdrop, a die that is a rubber duck and does almost nothing useful.

Everything rolls at the size it says. There are no flat numbers hiding in the code.

Cursed dice bind to you. Once you pick one up you cannot put it down, only swap it for another cursed die, and the cursed cup is a real place with real consequences. The bag is endless, your patience with the Unlucky Die is not.

Cards, familiars, and a shop

Level up and pick a card. Common, epic, and prestige - and prestige is a commitment: take one and the others close for that run, forever. The classic traps are all here. Do you want the fireball that comes back at where you threw it from? The shotgun that splits your dice three ways? The frog, the cat, or the demon, all of which have opinions?

Spend gold on permanent upgrades between runs, because at least the shop remembers you.

Features

• One spell, deep system. Dice, cards, familiars, set bonuses, foils, cursed items, and synergies that get genuinely stupid by wave 12.
• Endless waves with elite goblins, kings, deserters, mimics, and arrival events that insist.
• Your own blast hurts you. The reason the game works.
• A gold shop of permanent upgrades, priced as a curve you can actually climb.
• An encyclopedia for everything, because there is a lot of everything.
• Achievements, kill sprees, foils, and an announcer who enjoys this far too much.
• Runs in a browser. One file. No install. Keyboard, mouse, or touch controls with a tap-to-cast map if you prefer aiming with your thumb.

Free, and almost finished

Play it in your browser. No download, no account, no launcher. If you die, you die in about eleven seconds, which is the correct length for learning something.